Is it just me? Or is expressing deep feeling and emotion hard for other people too? I mean why does my chest get tight, and my throat start to close when it's time to say how I really feel? What is this? Is something wrong with me? I mean at this big age I should be able to communicate and articulate myself with out any problems.
The scary part is I'm quite aware of this communication malfunction, and it really isn't just communication it's also the FEAR of VULNERABILITY 😩 There I said it! Just to type the words makes my chest tight and the feeling of anxiety starts to invade my entire body. Why am I like this? Is the reoccurring question I ask myself frequently.
The thoughts that I never say probably would make me rich, have me in a loving relationship, heal people from trauma and for sure have people bursting with laughter. Am I cheating myself out of amazing experiences and a better quality of life? Am I cheating other people out of an amazing experience from being in my presence? I am in constant torment of these thoughts and questions.
I really hope you weren't expecting me to provide you with any solutions or practices to help with the giant called Vulnerability. I'm actually hoping you read this and can give me some tools. This is a struggle for me and I want to be better at it. The fact that it scares the life out of me also let's me know that there is something amazing on the other side of it. I'm trusting God that one of these days I'll be writing to you how I overcame this obstacle. Until then just send love and light .
It's a JOURNEY not a destination 💕